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Aimee
25 June 2009 @ 07:45 pm
Thriller was the first album I owned. Michael Jackson was a huge part of my childhood. And when I was first living in LA, I got the chance to meet him. At a Three Stooges Convention. LA Times story here: http://articles.latimes.com/1998/aug/26/news/ls-16462?pg=2

I was at the registration desk of the Burbank Hilton when his entourage came in. He was with T3 (Tito's sons), Tito, and some of his other nieces and nephews. He was covered from head to toe in gray silk, but that voice was undeniably his. One of his security guards asked if I wouldn't mind walking with the group around the convention. It ended up being quite an odd thing because Billy Barty was there and he and Michael knew each other. So I walked around with Tito and Michael Jackson and Billy Barty. How random is that?? I didn't take any pictures or ask for authographs because it seemed tacky. He was out for a fun thing with his family.

Anyway, it was uneventful. They took pictures, they bought memoribillia, they threw pies. I stayed in the corridor while the family was in each of the areas and helped keep other people back. I did get to speak to him and he did shake my hand. His hands looked so OLD. They were so frail looking. But he was kind and gracious and not demanding and said that he missed the midwest. I hope that in his death he is able to find the peace and acceptantance that he seemed to crave and search for in this world.

RIP Michael.
 
 
Aimee
24 June 2009 @ 12:28 am
Emeline fell asleep with her lantern that Grammie and Grampie got her for reading in her room. It's been in our closet with dead batteries for about 6 months. I cleaned out our closet last week, found it, and bought new batteries last night. She is so happy, she is sleeping with it. Joe looked at her sleepingness and said, In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shal escape my sight." from Green Lantern. Ha!!



 
 
Aimee
19 June 2009 @ 09:37 am
Turns out I am a lot more upset about missing the F2F in Seattle than I thought I would be. I actually cried in the shower this morning!! I even came into work and priced last minute plane tickets!! I R dork!!

I keep reminding myself: next year. Next year it will be within reasonable driving distance. Might not have all the same players, but that is what is so awesome. It changes every year and is still a BLAST.

To all my F2F-ing peeps: Have a good time, just not, you know - too good a time without those of us who really wanted to be there. If you loved us....

SMOOCH!!
 
 
Aimee
17 June 2009 @ 11:54 pm
Joe didn't know it was on and it's his most very favorite musical ever. So, instead of watching more season 7 West Wing, I surprised him Chess in Concert.

I've only ever heard the music, and really only a couple of songs at that. Obviously "One Night in Bankok" and the angsty-girl songs.

I really loved it. A lot. Barb - I finally get it about Josh Groban. Never did until tonight. I bow to your knowledge.

I loved Adam, as per usual...have ever since "one Song Glory" from Rent.

As for my girl, my love, Idina Menzel ... well, I have to be honest. I kind of prefer Elaine Paige. Elaine just belts it out so much richer and more ... I don't know -- womanly?? Elaine plays it so much stronger and with much more agency - to use a word my friends are fond of. Yeah, she got caught up in love and the romance of defecting Russian lover and what not, buther realization is much more cynical than Idina's portrayal came off. In particular on "Nobody's Side" (which is now my favorite musical song).

Now, I know it was just a concert and not a true performance of the show - it is one I'd LOVE to see a revival of on Broadway - so I might not be being fair to fair Idina. But I just like Elaine's voice quality better for this show. Idina was PERFECT for Wicked and Rent. But I think the role for Florence, you need a more cynical, adult, and much richer voice.

Thoughts?
 
 
Aimee
16 June 2009 @ 08:13 pm
On our way to the Produce Market tonight, Emeline asked me, "Mommy, where was I when you were a little girl?"

She must know that Parent Advisory Committee is next week.

I told her that she was always in Mommy's tummy, she was just waiting for me to tell her it was time to come out.

"I had to wait until you growed up?"

"Yep. And when I grew up, I met Daddy and we got married and wanted to have a baby. So he and I made you and you came out!"

Fortunately, that was deemed Good Enough For Now, and the subject was closed for the time being.

I'm comfortable talking to her about how babies are made and where they come from, but ... I kinda wanted to initiate the conversation. However, I am still learning that what I want as a parent and what actually happens are usually worlds apart.

Of course, being me, now I'm freaked out that I've totaly fucked this up from the get go. Which I think is a very typical parental feeling.

**I know that this conversation doesn't allow for the numerous ways that babies do, in fact, come about, but since she asked just about her, I told her her story in way that I thought she'd understand. Which, she seemed to since she just repeated it to Joe.
 
 
Aimee
I can usually handle the Leo Dies episode of West Wing until they show Margaret, silently crying. Then, I loose it.
 
 
Aimee
15 June 2009 @ 12:18 am
So I'm laying here in bed, not really tired due to a Diet Coke and I'm watching, for what earthly reason I don't know - an MTV reality show called "16 and Pregnant". It chronicles the lives of real life 16 year olds going through the last few weeks of their pregnancy. It seems to be being told from the perspective of the young mom-to-be. So far, in this episode, there has been no discussion of alternatives to keeping the baby. Not even adoption. This episode does take place int he South, so in keeping with gross generalities, I'm not surprised abortion hasn't been talked about. What does surprise me is that so far, no one is talking about how they wished they had used birth control. And boy does that freak me out. The girl on this show is naming her child Bentley Cadance. Her and her fiance share an apartment. They ride quads when she's in her 37th week (which leads to her going tinto labor.) After the birth, the girl is so excited that her fiance was so happy to be a father that he went and got the child's name tattooed on the chest. @@

Ok - now the boys parents are asking "What happened?? We talked to you about it [birth control] forever??" But it was in a joking matter and no answer was given.

This seemingly blase attitude worries me on a higher level. It always has. Birth control and abstinence were pounded into my head from the moment I got invited to my first boy-girl party in 6th grade. Emeline (and any other children we have) will get the same education.

I'm also - finally - implementing my beliefs in the role of public education in sexual education and reproductive health by attending my first meeting of the Ypsilanti Reproductive Heath Education Advisory Board. It was at the insistence of my MiL, but I'm a big believer in sex ed in public schools and so therefore, I must become part of the solution, not just talk about what should be. I'm very excited.
 
 
Aimee
17 May 2009 @ 12:53 am
 
 
Aimee
15 May 2009 @ 12:47 pm
NO CANCER!! WOOHOO!!!
 
 
Aimee
07 May 2009 @ 08:53 pm
I love the modern world sometimes. For instance: our phone, cable, and internet are all through the same line. And so, the phone caller-ID pops up on the television when the phone rings.

Hurray!!
 
 
Aimee
06 May 2009 @ 04:04 pm
For the semester:

A, A, A, A-, A-

Graduating GPA: 3.93.
 
 
Aimee
26 April 2009 @ 11:01 pm
My surgery to remove my thyroid will be done on May 11 at 10:15am.
 
 
Aimee
10 April 2009 @ 02:52 pm
I have an unholy love for papasan chairs. Like, I love them. If go to someone's home and they have one, I never leave it. They are, for me, the worlds most perfect sitting and sleeping vehicle.

I'm having my surgery next month (God willing), and I can't sleep on my back for the first few days or so. I am total crap at sleeping upright, so I thought, papsan!! Perfect reason to get one!!

I ADORE this cushion: http://www.pier1.com/Catalog/Furniture/tabid/519/CategoryID/158/List/0/catpageindex/6/Level/a/ProductID/808/ProductName/Embroidered-Flower-Papasan-Cushions/Default.aspx

And this frame: http://www.pier1.com/Catalog/Furniture/tabid/519/CategoryID/158/List/0/catpageindex/6/Level/a/ProductID/567/ProductName/Papasan-Chair-Stool-Frames--Brown/Default.aspx

Of course, being me, I wonder of they are too cheesy, but then, being me again, I don't care. I love them and I want one.
 
 
Aimee
06 April 2009 @ 01:59 pm
To be so excited to graduate with an AA. I plan on walking, buying a cap and gown AND High Honors cord. I'm inviting people. I'm planning on having a party (combo graduation and "goiter away" party pre-surgery).

But ... it's an AA. Not a BS or BA or even more.

BUT BUT!!! It has taken me five years and three schools to get the damn thing and I am sooper proud of myself for actually FINISHING something that isn't craft related. Some grandeur is allowed, I would think.
 
 
Aimee
03 April 2009 @ 04:06 pm
Right growth has no cancer, left growth was inconclusive, but looks good.

Will probably still lose the thyroid, if for no other reason than to NOT have this bullshit over my head anymore. It's pretty bumpy and could hide things that are not good. So, out. Out damn thyroid. Hell is murky and I no likey!!!

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers this week. It truly helped knowing I had so many people on my side.

XOXOXOXOXO
 
 
Aimee
03 April 2009 @ 11:00 am
My lack of attention span for anything work- and school-related has reached epic proportions. I have to prepare for our all-staff meeting today, because it is 90% about the office move, which I am helping to coordinate. I wrote the memo and am waiting for its return from my boss. Other than that, there are several other things I could be working on, but I’m not. I just don’t have the brain space for it. I am living in this limbo of not knowing what the hell is wrong with me and I won’t find out until 3:15 today. I long for the future when we’ll have individual health scanners (like on Star Trek!) and can scan our own bodies and have a read out of what’s wrong, how to fix it, and prognosis. And also, flying cars.

I know that no matter the diagnosis, I’m going to be fine. I have to wonderful a support system, both online and in real life that I couldn’t be anything but fine. And I’m trying not to borrow trouble, but to prepare myself for the worst (stage 4, inoperable, chronic monkey foot cancer) plus trying to, well, not HIDE what’s going on from Emeline, but not make her explicitly aware until we know for sure what’s going on and then there’s all of THAT mess and logistics. Telling a 4 year old their mommy is sick, but the doctor’s are going to fix her and make her all better. Of course, I also worry that 12 years from now she’ll be angry teenager that yells in my face, “And you HID that you had this stuff going on from me! How am I supposed to trust YOU???” Oh well. She’s gonna yell at me about something, I imagine. The thought terrifies me, a bit. Last weekend, I had to explain animal death to her – my mom’s bunny died. She handled it well. Asked if he would be coming back from Bunny Heaven (cliché, but it worked). I told her no and she thought about it a minute and then asked me to please get out of the way – she couldn’t see Spongebob.

And then there’s school and my anxiety that nothing will transfer (totally unfounded – I’ve followed the transfer requirements – just me being me) and I’ll have to start all over as a freshman and the past FOUR YEARS will have been for nothing and that I’ll be 50 when I finally finish and I’ll be the oldest first year teacher in the world. I know, not really, but I still feel like I’ll NEVER FINISH.

My mind is a sieve and flypaper all at once. I can’t remember shit, but I can’t let go of anything in there, either.
 
 
Aimee
03 April 2009 @ 08:46 am
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing
Is a hurricane a-blowing

Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of Hell a-glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing

That's a little more fatalistic that I meant it to be. I was more trying to illustrate the hateful not knowing.
 
 
Aimee
02 April 2009 @ 09:42 pm
Tonight, I was combing Emeline's hair after her shower. She was facing me and looking down. Pretty much down my shirt that is pretty low cut. She says, "Mommy, I like your boobs!" and poked each one saying, "Boing! Boing!"

Hand to God, it happened.

Later on, we were watching tv and a commercial came on for boots. Emeline looked up from her dinner and said, "Boobs?" "No." we said. "Boots. Boots." "Oh", she replied. "I thought it said 'boobs'."

What the hell.
 
 
Aimee
23 February 2009 @ 06:33 pm
This is a fleshing out of thoughts I've had today, some being blatantly lifted from others I've read on LJ. If you see your thoughts here, I do not make any claim to them, they were a jumping off point for my thoughts this afternoon. Also, as this is a fleshing out, please forgive any misspeaking or mistakes I may make. Also, please know that I am not casting any judgment or what have you on anyone else’s issues with Dollhouse. I totally get the skeevy-ness. But I just got to thinking today that I’m not that surprised that Joss wrote what seems to be a horribly misogynistic show. And with that, Thoughts!!

~~~

So. I've been reading a lot about Dollhouse. Some good, some bad, some disgust, and none indifferent. I've noticed a trend to wonder what the flipping hell Joss Whedon was thinking when coming up with this premise, and I, too wonder. Now, I've not watched Dollhouse. Not because I have any deep, feminist issues with the show, but because it quite simply didn't interest me. I do see the points that various people have made about it and how the women in the Dollhouse are chattel for rent for all sorts of skeevy and male-driven yukkiness. And I can agree with them, even not having seen the show.

I was one of the few women that I know that didn't have a problem with Penny's role and lack of agency in Dr. Horrible. Not every woman, in my opinion, needs to have agency as not every woman in the world has agency. She died because idiots were doing idiotic things and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had no issue with it because ultimately, Dr. Horrible and Captain "It's My Penis" Hammer got what was coming to them by way of their shared love interest being sacrificed because of their own stupidity. This happens quite a bit in real life in varying degrees. Both by some women's choice and some not. That, to me, was shown with Penny's death. [I am deliberately not talking about Tara’s death because that is a whole ‘nother Oprah.] And a lot of people expressed disappointment in Joss for that lack of Penny's agency considering that he has a history of writing strong, agency-filled women, most notably, Buffy Summers.

But in thinking about it today, I've come to believe that Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible, Angel, and Buffy are not all that different. It's Firefly that's the anomaly. This would, therefore, make the rest the norm as far as Joss’ writing women is concerned.

(This is the thought I did not have on my own that led to the rest of these thoughts)In Buffy, NONE of the women in the show or in AtS had any power that was of their own making, save maybe Willow who sought out her power and nurtured it and grew it to epic proportions. I don't remember if Tara's power came to her genetically or not, so I defer to others' better knowledge. Buffy was given her super strength. So was every alsyer, ever. She, in turn, gave that power to the potentials. None of their strength really came from within. We see several times that Buffy's inner strength to keep fighting the good fight and not just commit suicide-by-demon came from her very stereotypical female nurturing, caring, and protection of her friends and family. She is a perfect example of a mother-goddess. Even all of the ancillary female characters either got their powers from someone else or sought out the power they had for again, very stereotypical female reasons. Need to live vicariously through your teenage daughter? Learn witchcraft and take over her body. Easy peasy George and Weezy. Cordy was given her power by the PTB. And Fred, well, I personally had so many issues with simpering, whimpering Fred that I am afraid they color my ability to look at her subjectively. She didn't survive for 5 years in Pylea because of her extraordinary intelligence. She survived by hiding in a cave and then falling all over the "nice handsome man" that saved her. For the most part, the women in BtVS and AtS were at the mercy of whoever decided that they should have agency. These women did not, for the most part, go out and seek that agency.

So then I started thinking about Firefly. Women with agency GALORE. And while none of them are main protagonist, Cap’n Mal would have lost his complete ass several times over if it hadn’t been for the women aboard his ship. Zoe’s power is ALL from within. She is a kick-ass and take names, no guff taking, no shit strong women all of her own making. She was, and is, a soldier. She takes orders from Mal because to her that’s rank. If it were a woman giving them, she’d take them the same way. For Zoe, it’s about respect and self-awareness. With Kaylee, true – she can totally be a dunderhead. What person of any gender isn’t at several points in their lives – but she knows her ships, she can draw out the strength when she needs it, she is very self aware and has no problem doing what she needs to to get what she wants. For her, it’s Simon and after having nothing “twixt her nethers weren’t run on batteries” for almost a year, I would totally grab a gun and start shooting at some flipping reavers; Girl’s gotta get some pipe laid. Inarra chose her life of being a companion. She is as strong a woman as Zoe is; Inarra is just more subtle about it. Zoe’s is a in your face you know it immediately strength while Inarra’s is more withheld but freely comes out when it needs to. And here, Mal is also very dependent on her to save his beautiful arse on more than one occasion. And then there’s River. If she had been left alone by the Alliance and was able to develop her inherent gifts to her own choosing, I have no doubt that she would have become as strong as she is after the brain studies and torture, only with a bit less whack-a-doo. Or, maybe not. Maybe the whack-a-doo was also inherent.

And so it seems to me that, and I say this as a HUGE fan of Joss’, his cred for writing strong women isn’t all that strong. He has proven that he can do it and by gosh, he *should* do it since when he does it, he does it well. But, to me, it’s not the norm for him. And so, not surprised that he didn’t write a great female-centric show.
 
 
Aimee
18 February 2009 @ 09:42 pm
Why has my flipping left eye been twitching for SIX HOURS??????